2013- "So Apparently I Had A Social Life...."

My New Year's Resolution 2012-2013 was to not forget. I decided that for a whole year I would keep the fantastic memories in an owl jar (see right) to refer back to at the end of the year. So, as well as it being wonderful for me to look back on the amazing times I had in 2013 it also makes a cracking blog post. Please only read on if you care about my year. If not this post is not for you so please come back in January 2014 when hopefully there will something more interesting and a little less self-serving. To be honest this post is a bit like a private joke between me and my friends but if you are nosey and you like this sort of thing, let me know. 

1/1 The strangest/best game of Articulate ever. Best friend could not guess Malteser after one whole minute of description.
3/1 Excellent party hosted by tall friend. Much jollity.

10/1 English Language exam completed

18/1 Snow Day!

11/2 Sang "I dreamed a dream" on stage with animal-obsessed friend. The strangest/best reunion ever.

21/2 Four friends came over for tea, cake and Scrabble.

19/2 Explored the beautiful city of Winchester. Francis Francis- so good they named him twice!

22/2 Elite Meet. STALIN, "if you're talking, stop!"

8/3 (My proudest moment of 2013) achieved A* in English- highest mark in the year 197/205

8/4 LaCross came over and we played Scrabble, watched The Dark Knight Rises and laughed a hella lot.

27/4 Bonfire. I nearly caught fire.

10/5 End of Year Celebration "If you wannabe my lover!".

24/5 Went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness with dad and had a great time.

5/6 Didn't do any revision because I watched all of Miss Marple series 3. 

JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER CAN BE FOUND IN SCRAPBOOK

1/10 Father reaches significant age.

12/10 Part ensues.

1/11 Meet up with a long-lost amazing friend.

11/11 I reach a nearly significant age.

22/11 First poetry commission. 

17/12 Read poem in front of many people and it goes down well.

20/12 Compere Celebration and make some jokes that go down well thus making it not a disaster.

27/12 DMs arrive in the post and I don't take them off for 12 hours. 

That doesn't seem like very much really. It was a year of laughter and new experiences. However, I think 2014 will be better still. I have very high expectations. 

nERD 

Genius, Influence, Insight

After listening to Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball for the 77th time this week I feel that it is time for me to list my inspirations. Unfortunately, Miley doesn't make the cut. Her tunes on-the-hole aren't exactly my cup of tea but I do love Destruction Sphere. I shall refrain from discussing whether or not I agree with her performance at the VMAs or the music video for Wrecking Ball but I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL! ...Sorry about that. I'm not sure what came over me. (Was it a Wrecking Ball?! *a dog barks in the distance as tumbleweed rolls across the stage*)

So, inspirations, inspirazioni, Вдохновение.... the people who inspire us are personal and one can be inspired in any number of ways. This time around I am going to focus on the people that have inspired me to aim for the career I want and the route I'd like my life to take. Here is my list:

• Caitlin Moran
• Caroline Aherne
• Victoria Wood
• Peter Kay
• Ross Noble
• Catherine Tate
• Julie Walters
• Benedict Cumberbatch
• John Van De Ruit

(there are probably more that have temporarily slipped my mind)

Caitlin Moran is the Zeus Inspirer. She is the embodiment of everything I want to achieve. I intend to go about being a mental, hilarious feminist power-house a bit differently however. I cannot divulge my action plan unfortunately- that would be telling. Beside Almighty Moran are Victoria Wood, Julie Walters, Caroline Aherne, Ross Noble and Peter Kay. Victoria Wood in my opinion has made it. The worst kind of person is the person who says "Women. Aren't. Funny." My response will always be "You absolute knobcake" (Knobcake. Excellent word courtesy of an excellent friend). THERE ARE WOMEN LIKE VICTORIA WOOD, FELICITY WARD AND CAROLINE AHERNE WALKING THIS PLANET- DO YOUR M*****-******G RESEARCH, YOU MORONIC INDIVIDUAL. Women are very funny. Very.

The next layer of my delectable inspiration sponge cake includes John Van De Ruit, Benedict Cumberbatch and Catherine Tate. JVDR wrote the funniest series of books in existence (Spud series well worth Amazon-ing), Benedict Cumberbatch is currently the best young male actor in Britain (something I aspire to be) and Catherine Tate is an all-rounder- clever, first rate at acting and often bloody hilarious. You are lying to yourself if you dispute the fact that Tate/Tennant was the best Doctor Who partnership ever. 

So those are my inspiracije. Role models, if you will. Good things to have, even better things to live up to.

nERD

Review of Sunshine On Leith

My mother and I, in need of a pick-me-up, ventured out to the cinema on Wednesday to see the much anticipated Sunshine on Leith. I've had a bit of a cinema-fest recently (especially as I intend to see The Fifth Estate with Benedict Cumberbatch later in the month AND Catching Fire in November). I knew Sunshine On Leith was going to be good. Even the harshest of critics have rated it highly and I can completely see why. 

I would describe Sunshine on Leith as, and please excuse my French, like Mamma Mia but not shit. The format was exactly the same as the smash hit ABBA enterprise; a rom-com with more of the 'rom' that the 'com' with additional singing and dance numbers. The refreshing elements surrounding Sunshine On Leith however, are that it does not suffer from continuity problems, is acted commendably and the songs are sung magnificently.

By the end I was in love with George MacKay. His thick, bewitching Scottish accent is just...ugh...and when he's singing in that accent it is sexy and enticing, just downright marvellous! I especially enjoyed Misty Blue and Then I Met You. Without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest number in the whole film is Over and Done With (which weirdly enough does not even feature on the Proclaimers Greatest Hits album?! I know this because I've got it). This song combines the sweet Mezzo-Soprano of Antonia Thomas and the throaty Alto of Freya Mavor with the melodic Baritones of George MacKay and Kevin Guthrie. It's convivial and jocund and the main reason for me coming home and instantly downloading the soundtrack. Best £8.99 ever. 

Go for a good plot to get stuck into and songs to get stuck in your head.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2481198/


nERD

Review of The To Do List

If you have read my previous blog posts you may well have noticed that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Parks and Recreation. So, when a film comes out starring Aubrey Plaza you can understand why I went on opening night. And I was right to be excited. It's bloody hilarious. 

The To Do List is a coming of age comedy about naive high school virgin Brandy (Aubrey Plaza) who is determined to lose her virginity before she starts college. The amazing and well-established Alia Shawkat is accompanied by Sarah Steele and they play Brandy's two best friends. I have loved Alia Shawkat since the beginning of Arrested Development and here she excels again, delivering her lines with cutting sarcasm and sass.

The plot is comprehensive and the ending is very satisfying! The To Do List is a cocktail of eye candy, satire and teenage reality served on the rocks. It is also worth mentioning that THE TO DO LIST IS NOT OFFENSIVE. If it was sexist, anti-feminist bullshit I wouldn't be praising it in the way I am. I find Brandy's choice empowering. On the surface, it is about a girl who feels she needs to have sex but Brandy soon realises that sex should not be the main focus and that there are more important things in life. She discovers this in a very real, and not at all twee way.   

My favourite quote is: "Brandy: I’m engaging, smart, once I add sexually experienced to the package he'll totally want me." Quite frankly, most of my friends will be able to relate to this which makes it poignant and hilarious-(the best combination).

Ultimately, The To Do List is an indie movie. It's unlikely to have the huge success Juno had because it is not aimed at everyone. I mean, I wouldn't recommend sitting down and watching it with your mum for example. Personally, the film gave me an insight into what life as a teenager would have been like in 1990s USA. 

I love the film and I can't wait to see more of Aubrey Plaza. (She's kinda definitely my idol). Similarly, I am now a fan of Bill Hader because he made me laugh, cringe and very nearly cry. Willy is a very tragic character.

The To Do List is original and consistently funny. Go and see it for a laugh, for a trip down memory lane or for a good, old-fashioned sliding-down-your-seat cringe. You can't go too far wrong with a film that has "Can't Touch This" as its soundtrack.

nERD

A Shoutout To The People Who Have Had To Live Alongside Me For All Of My Life

I would like to take this opportunity to write a blogpost about my long suffering parents. I have lived on this planet just long enough to thoroughly appreciate the people that have looked after me from birth. I truly love my parents and, although they no longer love each other, I'm like 80% sure they love me back. My parents have contrasting personalities but share the same main, important beliefs that have consequently made my childhood completely satisfactory. In fact, I would give it a solid 8.8/10.

First, I will start with my mum. Not for any particular reason. Just because. My mum is a very complex and kind woman. I won't try explaining why I love her because when you truly love someone the feelings cannot be put into words. I will simply highlight a few of her qualities. She has the strongest sense of right and wrong I have ever known a person to have and consequently, she is a passionate person. She is a I-Will-Get-My-Daughter-Into-A-Grammar-School-Even-If-It-Kills-Me kind of person. I know she loves me but she also loves and cares about my health, education, pillow quality, lack of a sturdy winter boot etc. She works hard and plays hard. She is VERY INTELLIGENT. I don't just mean she's read Auden's collective works (she has) type of intelligent but she has an emotional intelligence not many others possess. She is detached maternal. (I hereby coin the term "detached maternal"). What I mean by that is she leads me to believe that she does not wish to interfere with my life, a Laissez-Faire approach if you will, but surreptitiously buys me my favourite type of biscuit and hugs and kisses me on a regular basis. SLY. I believe this is an excellent style of parenting. I THINK that I have freedom BUT SECRETLY I DON'T! Genius! My mum has got it nailed. Mum, I will always be your Moose. ((At a young age I went through a stage where I was obsessed with mooses.))

Now on to my father. Dad. "El Padre" as I affectionately call him. My dad is great. There is no-one in this world wittier than my dad. No-one in this world with a wider repartee than my dad. No-one in this world with such quiet genius as. my. dad. To say my dad is funny would be a huge, unforgivable, understatement. His comedic ability is so vast and varied I would happily say he is my comedy hero. The other day I was thinking outloud and happened to say: "Hmmm you know The Edge from U2? I wonder if he has a first name?" and without a moments pause my dad, without even looking up from his dinner, said "Yeah, it's Cliff". If you don't find that hysterically funny then there is something fatally wrong with you. Or maybe you just had to be there... We laugh about everything together, we have the same music taste, we like the same films....You would be able to tell we were related instantaneously and that makes me feel really proud because if I'm half as funny as my dad when I'm his age I'll have a sitcom on BBC2 at 9pm on a Saturday night and it will be well into its 8th series. Dad, I will always be your Foss. ((He nicknamed me after a vicious mammal that lives in Madagascar- see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fossa_(animal).))

Personality-wise I'm a true 50/50 mix of my parents. And, in my mind, that can only be a good thing. 

nERD

Summer Scrapbook 2013!

From June 25th to September 4th I recorded my summer in scraps of paper, little drawings and detailed notes. I have one A4 page spare in case something exciting and/or dramatic happens in the next two days *fingers crossed*. 


Looking back over my summer, I can safely say it has been a success. I have had a handful of new experiences that I am grateful for. These include:

• Trying an omelette- No. Not nice. Never again.
• Going on a holiday organised (partly) by me- A roaring success. I'm so good at pretending I know how to read a train timetable!
•  Eating (thus including swallowing and digesting) a mussel- Surprisingly delicious. Four point five stars. 

.... Ok so those examples don't add up to the cRaZiEsT summer ever but I still had a good time. My friends and I had many shindigs. We have re-adopted the word "shindig" and we use it in reference to our own private style of party. These parties consist of eating doritos, chatting, drinking Fanta, playing a game my tall* friend has coined "Celebrities" and/or playing Cluedo. These shindigs are great. I suppose we use the word "shindig" ironically really because originally they were parties that involved loud music, dancing and alcohol consumption- none of that happens at our parties. This summer I have been to two classic shindigs that fit my description above, a murder mystery shindig and a bonfire shindig. All these events were jolly and filled with laughter. We can all drink but we choose not to intoxicate ourselves with poisons. Instead we roll around the carpeted homes of our nearest and dearest in fits of giggles. Our sides split at that hilarious anecdote about the crazy scottish lady our short, curly-haired companion* tells. SHINDIGS ARE THE WAY FORWARD. 

I think YOU should throw a shindig soon. You might like it. 

nERD

p.s. the pictures are some pages from my scrapbook....

** Names have been withheld 

Peggy

Cast your mind back a couple of months and you will remember that I was desperately trying to revise for some exams I had. Well, on Thursday I got the results of those exams. 5A*s and 6As. Not too shabby.

But something much more exciting than exam results has happened since my last post. I got a kitten! My brother and I were really missing having a cat to come home to every evening. So one overcast day a few weeks ago we went out and rehomed a kitten from an RSPCA open day. Meet Peggy April.  

She is an absolutely gorgeous White Tortoise shell. She is 18 weeks old and has already experienced too much. At just two weeks old she had her entire front right leg dipped in acid. It burnt through to her bone and she was left that way for days, unattended. I cannot believe the cruelty she endured. The wonderful people at the RSPCA rescued her and nursed her back to full health. Apart from the scar down her leg and her missing claw, you would not know the trauma she experienced as she has such a beautiful temperament. 

She is playful and inquisitive and unfortunately, a big fan of curtains. Her ears and tail are still a bit big for her which makes for extra cuteness. I am so so happy that we have another cat to care for and play with. 

If you have any advice regarding kittens, it would be much appreciated!

nERD

Summer-ish

The weather is a terribly boring topic so I'll get this out the way fast. It is a teeny weeny bit rubbish. Well it's quite rubbish if I'm being brutally honest. The English are great at cooked breakfasts, sponge cakes and cycling but really quite crummy at having nice weather. It is sometimes hot but this is very rare and when it is hot it is what my Great-grandmother would call "close" i.e. 100% humidity. When it is not being truly insufferable it is cold and, 87% of the time, wet.  Strangely, I kind of like English weather in some ways; I think I'd miss it if it went. 

"But", I hear you ask, "nERD, why have you been waffling on about the weather for a minute and a half? What importance does it bear?" 

Well, dear reader, I have a summer scrapbook so it has somewhat impacted upon the range of activities I have been able to participate in. Nevertheless, I have managed to cram in two holidays abroad to escape the mini heatwave/torrential down pour. The first was to a fishing village called Burgau located on the Algarve and the second was to a German hamlet in the middle of nowhere. Contrasting journeys with contrasting objectives.  

 In Germany my father and I immaturely invented the game "Slap-arsing" (why he didn't call it "Arse-slapping I don't know"). One has to pose behind Germans or tourists with extreme-sized derrieres and mimic slapping them on the behind whilst the accomplice takes a photograph for evidence. Wonderful fun. 

Whilst fully immersing myself in German culture, (I ate schnitzel and pretended that that thing they do in supermarkets where they throw your food at you is normal), I found myself surprised by German some behaviour.

1) In small towns and villages pubs and cafes shut for lunch. FOR LUNCH. During what must be their peak time some German cafe owners choose "me-time" with a sandwich over potential business. Bizarre.

2) Their service stations are grim, like really disgusting. Apparently other European countries complain that OUR service stations are manky. They are huge hypocrites (Belgium was especially vom-inducing and France was not much better). 

Anyway, more to come soon.


nERD

3/10

3/10. 

Any guesses what that means? 
No? 
It's the statistical representation of how much I care what other people think of me. I may not always be satisfied with what I look like but do I care if people judge me and have a problem with how I act? Not one jot. I struggled for a while with trying to please everyone and then Caitlin Moran's book "How to be a Woman" taught me to please myself first and, excuse the language, "f*** everyone else". It's made my life a lot easier. I have respect for myself and I dress how I want to dress and often say what I'm thinking. Luckily I don't have a particularly controversial character but I have been known to correct people if they're wrong and debate heatedly if need be. 

I think 3/10 is a good place to be. The "3" covers the people that require my true attitude and opinions to be altered slightly e.g. my grandparents, some friends, distant family. I don't mind playing down my honest opinions and edgy personality though as sometimes it is nice to take a break. Yes I just described my personality as edgy. I don't particularly like to conform and I'm very critical of the way my generation behave. THEREFORE, I'm not going to try and be like my peers who occasionally act in immature and infantile ways. I'm edgy because I'm at my happiest eating pastries, scrapbooking and/or watching my Agatha Christie's Marple boxset. I don't care if that is considered indie. I wear shirts and jumpers because that's what I have always worn. It is comfortable and smart. Whatever. On the whole I'm happy with how I am. I have a close set of friends that matter the most to me and I think they like me back (unless they are secretly ambivalent to my presence and are actually being paid to keep me entertained and content.... a bit like the Truman Show or something....). So I'm a 3/10 and one of my most valued and closest friends told me she was a 3/10 too. 

What would you say you are? How much, dear reader, do you care? 

nERD

Promblems

Last night my friends and I celebrated the end of our exams. The theme of our prom was "The Secret Garden" and the venue looked beautiful. The evening was wonderful and the weather stayed fine. People put all their issues aside and everyone had a fantastic time. My friends looked phenomenal in their suits and dresses. I even double-washed my hair and put eyeliner on ((extra effort)).

We celebrated in true Floyd style. There was plenty of dancing and eating and posing for photographs and, most importantly, banter. Although I enjoyed myself immensely, today I feel discontent. Perhaps it's the fact that there is a long summer ahead and I hate the idea of being bored or perhaps it's the fact that I am still hung up on a few things that I can't sort out. I know only boring people get bored so it is more likely to be the latter.

I am of the opinion that a buildup of little things can cause far more damage than one colossal disaster. I don't want to begin summer with grudges but are some things better left unsaid? I have many events to look forward to and, although I know I shouldn't, I have and inevitably will, let some people ruin enjoyable occasions for me. 

Positivity is the key to staying calm and happy but as I have said before, I am very cynical.  I know part of my problem is over-thinking situations but ultimately I may need to eliminate the people from my life that cause me grief and sleepless nights. 

Advice is needed, readers.


nERD

MY FAVOURITE THINGS TO WATCH ON TV 2.

It's the show I look forward to the most. It's funny, clever and BBC Four show a double bill every week. It's Parks and Recreation. 

I started watching P&R on the 6th March 2013. It was the pilot and it was very, very funny. My brother Sam enjoys American TV and we are massive 30 Rock fans so anything with Tina Fey's best friend Amy Poehler in it was going to be watched by us. 

The show is a fly-on-the-wall style mockumentary that follows the Parks and Recreation department in Pawnee, Indiana. The director of the department is the deadpan, slightly morbid Ron Swanson (played by Nick Offerman) whose life is made complete by "beautiful dark-haired women and breakfast food". Ron is my dad's favourite character and I think it's because he can empathise with Ron's desire to lead a stress free life adorned with simple pleasures. 

The deputy director is Leslie Knope (Poehler) a quirky, larger than life park-enthusiast in her late thirties. Leslie annoys the audience with her naivety and ignorance but those are the qualities that make her the most lovable.  She has a tendency to over-analyse situations and she often seeks help from her best friend Ann Perkins (Rashida Jones). Ann started off as a mildly-peeved nurse who wanted something doing about the giant pit outside her house. She appealed to the P&R department and Leslie and her became close friends. The way that friendship is developed over two seasons is an incredible bit of scriptwriting. At no point does one think "Oh how come Ann and Leslie are so chummy?" The relationship seems effortless and makes for excellent TV.

Ann, at the beginning of season 1, was nursing her boyfriend Andy back to health after he broke both his legs when he fell down the pit. Initially, Andy is the burden and the audience has no sympathy for him. He treats Ann like his slave and appears to be a disgusting slob- I'm sure Chris Pratt had a fantastic time portraying Andy in the period where he is sitting down and munching on nachos in every scene he is in. Andy makes a transformation in the later part of season 1 when Ann begins dating Mark. Andy makes it his  mission to win her back which leads to some seriously hilarious rumours. 

The P&R team include April Ludgate, the surly and complex intern; Jerry, the unassuming fat-guy that for some reason nobody likes...; Tom Haverford, (my brother's favourite character) the happy-go-lucky Asian guy that seeks women and money and is very happy to take "the low road"; Mark Brendanawicz, the city planner and general good-guy and finally Donna who, although doesn't have main part in a similar way to Jerry, joins in with the P&R banter with extreme enthusiasm and can often be found googling her co-workers and bullying Jerry. They are played by Aubery Plaza, Jim O'Heir, Aziz Ansari, Paul Schneider and Retta.  

Particular highlights from season 1&2 for me include DJ Roomba, Tom's robot DJ, the relationship that blossoms between my two favourite characters (sshhhhhh! no spoilers) and finally when April schedules 94 meetings with Ron Swanson on one day. 

P&R is extremely well conceived and laugh-out-loud funny. It's quotable and the characters are acted superbly. It's must-see tv. Soon you'll find yourself singing "This is how you eat it!" in the shower.

In my praise of the show I seem to have forgotten one VERY funny chracter: Jean Ralphio Saperstein. JP is Tom's friend and a complete creep. Ben Schwartz must have endless energy because JP just doesn't stop. Most of the scenes he's in make you cringe but they also make your sides ache. I read somewhere that alot of Jean Ralphio's lines are improvised. Ben Schwartz is a genius.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlLyZEfGQIU WATCH! 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01rlxxp


If, like me, you have a long summer ahead of you then a boxset of P&R is definitely the way forward. 

nERD

History: The Cold War ~ PART 1 ~ 1945-1956

I feel that, when blogging, it is vitally important to write bout something that one is interested in and something one knows a lot about. The Cold War is part of the module I am currently studying for and although I found it deadly dull when learning the information the first time around I am now beginning to enjoy it! 

My revision began about a week ago and so far I have been engrossed in the Origins of the Cold War and the Crises. For me the most interesting part is the failure of Detente and the collapse of communism. I think it quenches my thirst for rebellion and rebirth. So, I am going to use this blog as a history lesson for anyone who's interested. I intend to throw down all I know in a rambling, extended history essay. Here goes: 

The Yalta conference was held in the USSR in February 1945. Stalin, Churchill and Roosevelt attended and they decided to divide Germany and Berlin into four zones, hold free elections in Eastern European countries and ally themselves with the USSR in the war against Japan. 

Things had changed massively by July-August 1945 as Roosevelt had been replaced by Truman, Churchill was replaced by Attlee part-way through and Stalin had broken a promise made at Yalta. The Potsdam conference was intense. President Truman had detonated the Atomic Bomb and Stalin was furious that this level of nuclear technology had been kept a secret from him. (This sparked the Arms Race between the two superpowers which would develop colossally over the next 40 years). There was even more mistrust as Stalin, who had agreed to allow free elections to take place in Europe just 5 months earlier, had set up a communist government in Poland. Truman and Attlee were annoyed and suspicious.  Furthermore Stalin wanted to economically cripple Germany which Truman and Attlee knew would be destructive and malicious so did not condone. The Allies also denied the USSR a naval base in the Mediterranean causing tension and conflict. They did manage to agree on the fates of the Nazi Party leaders and where the German-Polish border would be. The Nazi Party leaders were to be trued as war criminals and the Nazi Party was deemed illegal and the Oder-Neisse river was going to mark the border between the two countries. 

The A-bomb was used to end WWII. 135'000 people died and although the war was over the tensions between the two Superpowers heightened. Stalin thought the A-bomb was a direct warning to the USSR and he captured the best German nuclear physicists he could find and  took them back to the USSR to work on developing their own A-bomb. In addition to this, as soon as Hitler was defeated the Superpowers no longer had a common enemy. They turned on each other.

Communications broke down and Stalin began to conquer Eastern Europe. It was easy for him as he already had Soviet troops stationed in many of the countries. All opponents to communism had either be scared into submission or murdered. By 1948 Stalin had created his Buffer Zone. Churchill gave his famous Iron Curtain speech. It was a warning to Truman. Churchill knew that Stalin's Sphere of Influence was almost impenetrable and could spread even further across Europe. "An iron curtain has descended across the continent". Truman fully understood Churchill's message and set about his policy of containment. This was enforced with the Truman Doctrine and  the Marshall

 Plan in 1947. 

The USA gave money, supplies and military aid to Greece and Turkey to help them restore democracy and stop the Soviets from advancing. The Greek monarchy had been overthrown and Britain could not afford to keep supporting them so the USA took over and prevented communism entering Greece. In Turkey the USA helped with the fight for the Dardanelles and made sure that Turkey remained in control of this passage.

The Marshall Plan focused more on economic aid. George Marshall, Truman's Secretary of State, took a trip to Europe to review the situation. He concluded that the European countries had suffered greatly, especially economically. He thought that this poverty made  the countries vulnerable to communism and so they should be pumped with money in order to help the individual economies recover. Although this was incredibly generous of USA they did it to contain communism and provide themselves with excellent markets for American exports. The USA gave the most money to Britain closely followed by France. It is thought that about $13 billion was given to European countries although not all accepted it. 

To seem fair, and not anger Stalin, every single European country and the USSR was offered Marshall Aid. However, every country in the Satellite States had to decline Truman's proposal as they were new members of Cominform which was a group Stalin had created in 1947 to spread communist messages and keep control of his Sphere of Influence.   He had also set up Comecon in 1949 as a response to the Truman Doctrine. This allowed Stalin to easily co-ordinate trade in the Satellite States but the USSR was favoured above all its other members! 

In 1947 and 1948 Stalin was feeling increasingly threatened by Bizonia in West Germany. The USA and Britain had joined their parts of German to form one large part. In addition to this, many East Germans were going to the West as it was prospering because Britain and the USA did not want to cripple their part of Germany. The French were not part of Bizonia because they were not sure whether they wanted Germany to fully recover. However after some persuading in 1948 the French joined and formed Trizonia. The final straw for Stalin was the introduction of the Deutsche Mark, the new West German currency. 

He took action in the form of the Berlin Blockade. He closed all the roads off around Berlin and diverted all the rail connections. He felt powerless so this was his attempt to push the Allies out of the capital city. For the USA and Britain withdrawing from the capital was not an option so they proceeded to carry out a huge airlift that lasted a whole year. Everyday hundreds of planes would land laden with food, clothes, oil and even building supplies. Everything that the Berliners needed was brought to them and the steady stream of flights meant they never went without anything. On the 16th to 17th of April the Airlift reached its peak when 1,398 flights landed in Berlin carrying 13,000 metric tonnes of supplies. This 24 hour period showed Stain what the Allies where capable of and that his Blockade was extremely unsuccessful. In May Stalin lifted the Blockade and it was a clear victory for the West. This undoubtedly created tension between the Superpowers. Trizonia became the Federal Republic of Germany in August 1949 and the USSR's zone became the German Democratic Republic in October 1949. In the same month China became communist under the rule of Mao Tsetung.    

In the same year as Blockade and Airlift NATO was formed. The North Atlantic Treaty Organisation contained the countries of Western Europe and Canada and the USA. It was an important alliance because both Superpowers had the Atomic bomb and no western country had nuclear weapons. The USA had committed itself to the defence of Europe and they could build airbases in Western Europe where they could store their nuclear weapons ready to use against the USSR. Of course, Stalin saw the organisation as a huge threat and although he didn't respond directly NATO was still ominous when Khrushchev was in power and he took action forming the Warsaw Pact.

The 1950s began with the Korean War. After WWII the USA had put Syngman Rhee in charge of South Korea and the USSR put Kim Il Sung in power in North Korea. Korea was divided equally along the 38th parallel but both leaders considered themselves the one true leader of Korea. Relations were fraught and in June 1950 North Korea invaded South Korea. The North Koreans drove the South Koreans into a tiny corner of the country called Pusan. Truman asked the UN to lend its army to help the South Koreans. The USSR were boycotting the UN as they wouldn't allow communist China to join so had no say in the matter. The UN troops pushed North Korea right up to the Yalu river in October 1950. This scared the Chinese as their was a democratic country right on their border so China's People's Volunteer Army joined the war on the North Koreans' side. The UN forces were driven back to just across the 38th parallel and General MacArthur threatened nuclear war on the Chinese. He was immediately sacked by Truman. The UN troops successfully pushed the communists back to the 38th parallel where a truce was agreed at Panmunjon in 1953. The war really ended because the USSR could no longer back the war as Stalin had died on March 6th. 

Truman was worried that the Domino Effect would occur in Asia as well as Europe with China being a powerful communist country. The Korean War was successful containment. 

With the death of Stain in 1953 there was a large thaw and significant improvements in relations between the Superpowers. Khrushchev wanted "peaceful co-existence" and he did not believe in Stalin's dictatorial ways. Khrushchev indicated that he thought people should have more freedoms and rights in the Sphere of Influence and people acted on the signals he was apparently sending. He signed the Austrian State Treaty allowing Austria to become independent. However, as I previously mentioned, he did have a big problem with NATO and so formed the Warsaw Pact which was exactly the same as NATO in its beliefs. The countries included were Eastern European ones. 

One of Khrushchev's most brutal moments occurred in 1956 when he mercilessly crushed the Hungarian Uprising. The people of

Hungary were protesting about their poor standards of living. In Budapest a mob of protesters pushed over a statue of Stalin and dragged it through the city where it got defaced and decapitated. Rakosi the evil dictator that had been in control was forced to step down and Nagy cam into power. He wanted free elections, no more secret police and the Soviet army that was still occupying parts of the country to be removed. Nagy's fatal mistake was demanding to leave the Warsaw Pact. Khrushchev could not allow this as other countries would demand the same if he let Hungary out of the agreement. It could of led to capitalism which was not desired by Khrushchev. He could not allow a gap in the buffer zone that Stalin preserved so well. 

1,000 Soviet tanks moved into Hungary and they obliterated anything in their path. Nagy asked the West for help but they were preoccupied with the Suez Crisis. He was captured and shot. 4,000 civilians died and 200,000 refugees escaped across the border. Consequently, no other Satellite State revolted or questioned their communist ruling for 12 more years. Kadar was put in charge of Hungary and although he made the Soviet troops withdraw he implemented strict communism.  

PART 2 COMING SOON!

I hope you enjoyed that little history lesson! I am going to... um... well... do some more revision really. 

nERD

Brutal and Unnoticed: The Western Rape Culture

Undeniably, there is a rape culture in our society. We could put this down to perverted men or women who find the objectification and idea of controlling and violating their victim satisfying and allegedly a turn on. Arguably this has always been present in communities. People get great satisfaction and pleasure out of suppressing others. It gives them confidence. It inflates their ego. They feel like they are in a win-win situation. The alarming thing is the sheer presence it has in our lives. The rape culture is noticeable, it is everywhere you look and it is gathering steam. 

Without doubt social networking has played a huge part in aiding the development and spread of rape-based "jokes" and memes. Rape is available to everyone and can be easily accessed via Facebook or Google. It is truly horrifying that the word rape has been degraded to the extent of the "Frape" (when someone accesses your Facebook account and takes advantage of this). Of all the words in the English dictionary, of all the synonyms for "violate" the word rape has been chosen to refer to a nonsensical, inconsequential occurrence- the victims mainly being 11 year olds who left their account logged on at their best friend's house. It angers me that rape is seen as a laughing matter. There is nothing funny about a woman being taken advantage of in the most brutal and personal way imaginable. Perhaps this very fact is what attracts the sadists that produce memes to do with the degrading of women. The western world appears to be full of WOMEN HATERS.

Misogynists have been in their element with Operation Yewtree spilling all kinds of filthy and indecent images on to our computer screens. In my opinion there is no such thing as a Jimmy Savile joke. Jokes have to be funny. The definition of rape is forced sexual intercourse. One party has not consented to the act. Rape is a vile crime and it infuriates me how regularly this is forgotten. Compared to terrorist attacks rape gets very little coverage. No one has died so why should people care? Almost every person alive is guilty of thinking this inadvertently.  The news stories that people tut at and say "Oh that is terrible", "How sad", "How could one person commit such disgraceful and destructive crimes?" are murders. WE LOVE ganging up on religions and races. Take the incident in Woolwich yesterday. A man lost his life in a terrorist attack and the whole world cares. Rightly so- we should care- there is nothing wrong with that. But what about the girl that just got violently gang raped behind a club in Liverpool- should less attention be paid to her? "There are terrorists in the world plotting against us", you may say, "terrorists could kill anyone at any time!" My response would be: "How do terrorists differ greatly from rapists?". EVERY girl is vulnerable to being raped and it would be sexist of me not to mention the men that are also domestically abused and raped. It is a massive problem and affects the victim for their entire life.        

85000 women are raped in England and Wales every year. 1 in every 5 women has experienced sexual violence since the age of 16. Undoubtedly, you know one of these women. Perhaps you don't know if it was your mother, grandmother, aunt, cousin or best friend but it was probably one of them. Are your actions on the internet aiding the rape culture? Did you pat down your handful of snow onto the already enormous snowball that is gathering speed by sharing that "funny" image of the rape sloth? Are you brave enough to stop this from going any further? It is too late for "nipping in the bud" but it is not too late to give rape victims a voice. You need to protect yourself, your future and your community.  No one deserves to be raped and those adding their likes, their "lol"s, their "lmfao"s are guilty of contributing to a twisted and disgusting society that I am not comfortable living in. 

nERD

MAY the road rise up to meet you

So I have been inundated with exams and studying. Currently I am trying to balance my personal life with work. I would say that I put an extreme amount of pressure on myself to achieve and I want success. My aim for this set of exams is all As and A*s. I think I can do it. I have a motivational quote stuck above my desk that is helping me through. It says: "The will to win, the desire to succeed, the urge to reach your full potential... These are the keys that will unlock the door to personal excellence." 

Recently I have also been thinking about what I want to do with my life. I am still young and I just feel that I have a lot to share with the world. I want to act and write and present and stand up on stage somewhere and make people laugh. I want to entertain people. Being liked is very important to me however recently I haven't won myself many favours as I have made a couple of huge mistakes earning myself the nickname "Faux Pas Queen". 'Tis I! I think people should be prepared to say sorry more. Let's just say I'll be doing a fair bit of that. 

This month has been emotional. I feel grown up. So far in May I have:

• Missed a bus
• Been to a concert
• Discovered a new band (The Vamps)
• Gained a massive amount of respect for someone
• Put contact lenses in
• Booked a holiday

I hope that you are following your dreams 

nERD

Things that have happened in April so far

It is the 11th of April and already so much has happened this month. I have had an extremely busy Easter break with revision. However I would say that it has been a 50/50 work:play balance. So far this month I have:

1. Rekindled an old friendship

2. Had extreme "beef" with someone who is now an old friend

3. Become a lot closer to an old friend I missed

4. Watched The Dark Knight Rises (w.o.w plot TWIST!) 

5. Written four English essays

6. Experienced the delights Stratford-upon-Avon has to offer ("say no more" it was cold, I was cold end of.)  

7. Let go of something I am happy to see gone

8. Finally decided, four months in to the year, that 2013 is going to be the year for a little bit of the C word. Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, CHANGE. 

I have decided to drag the skeletons out of my proverbial closet and to make sure that no untruths pass my lips. This includes avoiding little white lies at all costs. If someone asks my opinion I am going to be tactful but honest. I find that other people don't take me too seriously which is often fine but sometimes can be frustrating. Therefore it is time that I took myself more seriously. I am also going on a diet to lose what Easter has made me put on!

Have you had an enjoyable Easter? 

nERD

MY FAVOURITE THINGS TO WATCH ON TV 1.

In this series of blog entries I shall be telling you, dear reader, about all my favourite tv viewings. The first of which is airing again for the first time in three years this MONDAY!!! Yes I am talking about the highly anticipated Jonathan Creek Easter Special. I can not contain my excitement. Since the age of 11 Johnathan Creek has been one of my all time favourite TV programmes with the likes of Caroline Quentin and Julia Sawalha becoming my idols (even if it was just because they got to work with the quirky and attractive Alan Davies). http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b01rqchz 

Is it the Duffel coat, the geekishness or the genuinely perplexing plots that make Jonathan Creek so fabulous. I reckon it's a mix of all three. I am a hardcore Creek fan and have seen each episode at least 5 times. My favourite episodes are The Scented Room, The Problem at Gallows Gate (both parts) and The Black Canary. I love Jonathan Creek because not only is it incredibly clever it is also witty and sometimes absolutely terrifying  TV terror done right. Thank you David Renwick. 

If you haven't seen Jonathan Creek WOW you are missing out. Check it soon as!

nERD

March of the White Rabbits!

This month I am going to be creative! One of my favourite past times is writing poetry and since I had my some exams this week I wrote a poem based on an experience I had during my Statistics exam. It is called "Cappy's Cough".

There was a sudden noise

Abrupt and harsh

Spluttering, something nearly stifled

It was as constant as "friends" when you have gum in the bus park

And then it persisted

We sighed and sighed and rolled our eyes

"Oh Christ!" Hayden muttered

Nigel the Invigilator frowned

He caught Eileen's eye

He knew what to do

A glass of water may quash the distraction

Tick the proverbial box

Fingers crossed  

Silence 

I got to question 14, page 25 of the Edexcel paper

And then it began again

 I would love to share this with my friends and I'm thinking of starting a poetry club. The wonderful thing about poetry is that there is no bad poetry. I must admit half rhymes annoy me but some of the best poems don't rhyme. There is something so romantic and expressive about poetry and I am drawn to the way words and phrases can be manipulated by tone and format. One of my favourite poems of all time is by Vikram Seth. It's called "All You Who Sleep Tonight".  

All you who sleep tonight

Far from the ones you love,

No hand to left or right 

And emptiness above -

Know that you aren't alone

The whole world shares your tears,

Some for two nights or one,

And some for all their years.

It makes me feel sad yet peaceful. There is something very comforting about global mourning! There is something troubling or upsetting going on in everyone's lives all the time. I think also the poet is trying to convey that people should be allowed to worry. Often we are told to degrade our own problems. At least we're not starving African children. At least we've not experienced poverty or abuse.  Another of my favourite poems is "When You Are Old" by Yeats. I think it is beautiful and peaceful and optimistic without naivety. 

WHEN you are old and grey and full of sleep,

And nodding by the fire, take down this book,

And slowly read, and dream of the soft look

Your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep;

How many loved your moments of glad grace,

And loved your beauty with love false or true,

But one man loved the pilgrim soul in you,

And loved the sorrows of your changing face;

And bending down beside the glowing bars,

Murmur, a little sadly, how Love fled

And paced upon the mountains overhead

And hid his face amid a crowd of stars.

What are you going to do this month to be creative? Will it be a big project or a small one? Either way enjoy 

nERD

Valentine's Day

I can hear your groans and yawns. This Thursday is Valentine's Day or Single's Awareness Day. This means that you will either be spending Thursday evening snuggled up with the one you love or you'll be hysterically sobbing whilst watching Love Actually for the 154229655539th time and stuffing your face with Maltesers thinking about the one you love. For many of us it is a very sad time indeed. I have personally never celebrated a Valentine's Day before but I honestly really like the sound of it. But Sshhhh! Don't tell anyone I said that! I think it's my inner romantic talking. 

I know that some men find romance REALLY difficult. They cannot understand it nor convey it. Valentine's Day politely forces men to remember that they have feelings for someone and they are legally obliged to show it. I personally am very easy to please. A card with an elephant holding some roses in it's trunk and some Galaxy Cookie Crumble ticks all my boxes! I like the planned spontaneity of Valentine's Day. The way people know that they have to invest in some small gesture for their partner but act completely surprised and loved-up when said partner gives them a small token of their lust! 

Valentine's Day is about unashamedly loving. For some of you old flames may be rekindled and for others it is the first time that you have been truly swept of your feet. Either way I think loving with all your cards on the table is a beautiful thing. I don't believe that you're reading this right now and someone hasn't popped into your head. Maybe this Valentine's Day you should act? Throw your caution to the wind. If 2013 is your year for manning or womanning up and what better day to start than the 14th February?! 

nERD

Holly. My cat and my friend.

On Friday 1st February my little cat is going to be put down. She's really old and really ill. She has cancer in her small intestine and is probably in immense amounts of pain. She made my 2012 bearable and I want to share her short, sweet story.

On 22nd December 2011 there was a deafening meow at the French windows at the back of our house. Our neighbours have a troublesome cat so I ignored it and carried on watching the television. The meow came again and the cat sounded hurt. I squinted through the windows and could make out a small shape in the half-darkness. This was definitely not the cat next door. The cat crept into the light. This cat was a spectrum of colours. Its fur was orange and brown and white and black. It had a golden face with a snowy white patch under its chin. It was beautiful.

Initially my mum, brother and I thought that it had strayed and would soon find its owner again. The cat had a collar but no tag. After three days of listening to the cat wimper and wail we took it to the vet. She scanned it for a microchip but it didn't have one. I took a photo of the little cat and put many posters up around the village. The RSPCA say that you have to leave posters up for at least 7 days and so during that week we tried our very best not to get too attached to it knowing that someone could just turn up on our doorstep and take it away as quickly as it came. In the mean time we named it Kenneth thinking that it was a boy. 

On New Year's Eve someone rang up saying that they thought the cat could belong to their mother. I was devastated. When I heard the doorbell ring I thought it was the end of the road for me and this little cat. I carefully picked it up (it was the most docile and tame cat in the world) and carried it over to the elderly mother. Immediately she burst into tears. The cat was not hers. I could empathise with her completely and felt both relieved yet terribly sorry for this distraught woman. 

Days passed and the posters were taken down. My mum could see how desperately I wanted to keep it. One day my mum's friend who is a vet came over to see the cat. My mum presented it as Kenneth but we were then informed that the cat was in fact a 'she' as she was a tortoise shell and all tortoise shells are female. We had to think up a new name. In the end we decided on Holly because she was a Christmas cat. The vet noticed that there was something wrong with her paw. She took a closer look at it and noticed that her claws had grown so long one had begun to grow into the flesh of her paw. The vet did an emergency operation on the dining room table. The wound meant that Holly's paw had to be dipped in salt water to make sure it healed quickly. She did not flinch or fight once and patiently sat with her front paw dipped in a bowl. She was a brave cat.

After a couple of weeks we noticed something else that was very strange. She was constantly hungry. At first we thought her enormous appetite was just because she was malnourished but as the weeks passed it soon became evident that this could not be the case. The vet told us that she had a thyroid problem and that was why she was constantly looking for food. I paid for the operation to have her thyroid out. The vet told us the operation had gone well but there were some strange lumps in the thyroid she had had removed. They said that they could test to see if the lumps were cancerous but this would cost more money. We had the test done and the lumps were not cancerous. This was a relief. Of course, because Holly could not wear a cone (the scar was down her neck) we bought her little baby gloves and attached them to her paws. This was to stop her scratching. On her back paws she had white gloves with pink stars and on her front paws she had pink gloves with white spots. Watching her slip and scatter on our laminated flooring was adorable.

Holly made a quick recovery from her operation and had several healthy months. Holly used to snuggle up with my mum and me on a Wednesday night and we'd all watch The Apprentice together. I love stroking her because her fur is the softest thing I have ever felt. She would eat out of my hand and jump up onto the sofa and then settle down on my lap. She would lie either in a tight ball or regally like a sphinx.

On one occasion Holly was getting under my mum's feet in the kitchen and my shouted 'Sit down!' at her. Immediately Holly sat down. This is when we discovered her first trick. She can do tricks because somewhere in her ancestry there is Burmese. You can also tell this by the fact she meows instead of purring and she has incredibly pointy ears. Her second trick is the fact that she'll come and nuzzle your hand if you say 'Kiss!' to her. Holly is so affectionate and likes being picked up and cuddled. Often when I pick her up she places a paw on my arm and rests her head on my shoulder.

In October we began to notice how arthritic Holly was. Her movements were deliberate and stiff. She could no longer bring her leg up to clean herself meaning she had to be brushed most days in order to make sure there weren't clumps in her fur. We also noticed the edge of her eyes go cloudy and the vet told us this was cataracts due to old age. She also began to go very deaf.

 In December she became ill and was often sick or had diarrhoea. Earlier in January she had a round of steroids but they only worked for a very short amount of time. I realised how ill she was and it broke my heart. I loathe hearing her strained meows and although I know that putting her down is the best thing for her I am going to miss her every single day. Everybody that sees her say that they have never seen a prettier or gentler cat than Holly.

For just over a year Holly was my little companion. This cat made me laugh and cry. She made me so happy. She was my responsibility. I believe she saved my family. She was something to come home to.  She was a friend. She was wonderful.

I will love you always, Holly. Forever in my heart.  

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nERD