2013- "So Apparently I Had A Social Life...."

My New Year's Resolution 2012-2013 was to not forget. I decided that for a whole year I would keep the fantastic memories in an owl jar (see right) to refer back to at the end of the year. So, as well as it being wonderful for me to look back on the amazing times I had in 2013 it also makes a cracking blog post. Please only read on if you care about my year. If not this post is not for you so please come back in January 2014 when hopefully there will something more interesting and a little less self-serving. To be honest this post is a bit like a private joke between me and my friends but if you are nosey and you like this sort of thing, let me know. 

1/1 The strangest/best game of Articulate ever. Best friend could not guess Malteser after one whole minute of description.
3/1 Excellent party hosted by tall friend. Much jollity.

10/1 English Language exam completed

18/1 Snow Day!

11/2 Sang "I dreamed a dream" on stage with animal-obsessed friend. The strangest/best reunion ever.

21/2 Four friends came over for tea, cake and Scrabble.

19/2 Explored the beautiful city of Winchester. Francis Francis- so good they named him twice!

22/2 Elite Meet. STALIN, "if you're talking, stop!"

8/3 (My proudest moment of 2013) achieved A* in English- highest mark in the year 197/205

8/4 LaCross came over and we played Scrabble, watched The Dark Knight Rises and laughed a hella lot.

27/4 Bonfire. I nearly caught fire.

10/5 End of Year Celebration "If you wannabe my lover!".

24/5 Went to see Star Trek: Into Darkness with dad and had a great time.

5/6 Didn't do any revision because I watched all of Miss Marple series 3. 

JULY AUGUST SEPTEMBER CAN BE FOUND IN SCRAPBOOK

1/10 Father reaches significant age.

12/10 Part ensues.

1/11 Meet up with a long-lost amazing friend.

11/11 I reach a nearly significant age.

22/11 First poetry commission. 

17/12 Read poem in front of many people and it goes down well.

20/12 Compere Celebration and make some jokes that go down well thus making it not a disaster.

27/12 DMs arrive in the post and I don't take them off for 12 hours. 

That doesn't seem like very much really. It was a year of laughter and new experiences. However, I think 2014 will be better still. I have very high expectations. 

nERD 

Genius, Influence, Insight

After listening to Miley Cyrus' Wrecking Ball for the 77th time this week I feel that it is time for me to list my inspirations. Unfortunately, Miley doesn't make the cut. Her tunes on-the-hole aren't exactly my cup of tea but I do love Destruction Sphere. I shall refrain from discussing whether or not I agree with her performance at the VMAs or the music video for Wrecking Ball but I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALL! ...Sorry about that. I'm not sure what came over me. (Was it a Wrecking Ball?! *a dog barks in the distance as tumbleweed rolls across the stage*)

So, inspirations, inspirazioni, Вдохновение.... the people who inspire us are personal and one can be inspired in any number of ways. This time around I am going to focus on the people that have inspired me to aim for the career I want and the route I'd like my life to take. Here is my list:

• Caitlin Moran
• Caroline Aherne
• Victoria Wood
• Peter Kay
• Ross Noble
• Catherine Tate
• Julie Walters
• Benedict Cumberbatch
• John Van De Ruit

(there are probably more that have temporarily slipped my mind)

Caitlin Moran is the Zeus Inspirer. She is the embodiment of everything I want to achieve. I intend to go about being a mental, hilarious feminist power-house a bit differently however. I cannot divulge my action plan unfortunately- that would be telling. Beside Almighty Moran are Victoria Wood, Julie Walters, Caroline Aherne, Ross Noble and Peter Kay. Victoria Wood in my opinion has made it. The worst kind of person is the person who says "Women. Aren't. Funny." My response will always be "You absolute knobcake" (Knobcake. Excellent word courtesy of an excellent friend). THERE ARE WOMEN LIKE VICTORIA WOOD, FELICITY WARD AND CAROLINE AHERNE WALKING THIS PLANET- DO YOUR M*****-******G RESEARCH, YOU MORONIC INDIVIDUAL. Women are very funny. Very.

The next layer of my delectable inspiration sponge cake includes John Van De Ruit, Benedict Cumberbatch and Catherine Tate. JVDR wrote the funniest series of books in existence (Spud series well worth Amazon-ing), Benedict Cumberbatch is currently the best young male actor in Britain (something I aspire to be) and Catherine Tate is an all-rounder- clever, first rate at acting and often bloody hilarious. You are lying to yourself if you dispute the fact that Tate/Tennant was the best Doctor Who partnership ever. 

So those are my inspiracije. Role models, if you will. Good things to have, even better things to live up to.

nERD

Review of Sunshine On Leith

My mother and I, in need of a pick-me-up, ventured out to the cinema on Wednesday to see the much anticipated Sunshine on Leith. I've had a bit of a cinema-fest recently (especially as I intend to see The Fifth Estate with Benedict Cumberbatch later in the month AND Catching Fire in November). I knew Sunshine On Leith was going to be good. Even the harshest of critics have rated it highly and I can completely see why. 

I would describe Sunshine on Leith as, and please excuse my French, like Mamma Mia but not shit. The format was exactly the same as the smash hit ABBA enterprise; a rom-com with more of the 'rom' that the 'com' with additional singing and dance numbers. The refreshing elements surrounding Sunshine On Leith however, are that it does not suffer from continuity problems, is acted commendably and the songs are sung magnificently.

By the end I was in love with George MacKay. His thick, bewitching Scottish accent is just...ugh...and when he's singing in that accent it is sexy and enticing, just downright marvellous! I especially enjoyed Misty Blue and Then I Met You. Without a shadow of a doubt, the greatest number in the whole film is Over and Done With (which weirdly enough does not even feature on the Proclaimers Greatest Hits album?! I know this because I've got it). This song combines the sweet Mezzo-Soprano of Antonia Thomas and the throaty Alto of Freya Mavor with the melodic Baritones of George MacKay and Kevin Guthrie. It's convivial and jocund and the main reason for me coming home and instantly downloading the soundtrack. Best £8.99 ever. 

Go for a good plot to get stuck into and songs to get stuck in your head.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2481198/


nERD

Review of The To Do List

If you have read my previous blog posts you may well have noticed that I LOVE LOVE LOVE Parks and Recreation. So, when a film comes out starring Aubrey Plaza you can understand why I went on opening night. And I was right to be excited. It's bloody hilarious. 

The To Do List is a coming of age comedy about naive high school virgin Brandy (Aubrey Plaza) who is determined to lose her virginity before she starts college. The amazing and well-established Alia Shawkat is accompanied by Sarah Steele and they play Brandy's two best friends. I have loved Alia Shawkat since the beginning of Arrested Development and here she excels again, delivering her lines with cutting sarcasm and sass.

The plot is comprehensive and the ending is very satisfying! The To Do List is a cocktail of eye candy, satire and teenage reality served on the rocks. It is also worth mentioning that THE TO DO LIST IS NOT OFFENSIVE. If it was sexist, anti-feminist bullshit I wouldn't be praising it in the way I am. I find Brandy's choice empowering. On the surface, it is about a girl who feels she needs to have sex but Brandy soon realises that sex should not be the main focus and that there are more important things in life. She discovers this in a very real, and not at all twee way.   

My favourite quote is: "Brandy: I’m engaging, smart, once I add sexually experienced to the package he'll totally want me." Quite frankly, most of my friends will be able to relate to this which makes it poignant and hilarious-(the best combination).

Ultimately, The To Do List is an indie movie. It's unlikely to have the huge success Juno had because it is not aimed at everyone. I mean, I wouldn't recommend sitting down and watching it with your mum for example. Personally, the film gave me an insight into what life as a teenager would have been like in 1990s USA. 

I love the film and I can't wait to see more of Aubrey Plaza. (She's kinda definitely my idol). Similarly, I am now a fan of Bill Hader because he made me laugh, cringe and very nearly cry. Willy is a very tragic character.

The To Do List is original and consistently funny. Go and see it for a laugh, for a trip down memory lane or for a good, old-fashioned sliding-down-your-seat cringe. You can't go too far wrong with a film that has "Can't Touch This" as its soundtrack.

nERD

A Shoutout To The People Who Have Had To Live Alongside Me For All Of My Life

I would like to take this opportunity to write a blogpost about my long suffering parents. I have lived on this planet just long enough to thoroughly appreciate the people that have looked after me from birth. I truly love my parents and, although they no longer love each other, I'm like 80% sure they love me back. My parents have contrasting personalities but share the same main, important beliefs that have consequently made my childhood completely satisfactory. In fact, I would give it a solid 8.8/10.

First, I will start with my mum. Not for any particular reason. Just because. My mum is a very complex and kind woman. I won't try explaining why I love her because when you truly love someone the feelings cannot be put into words. I will simply highlight a few of her qualities. She has the strongest sense of right and wrong I have ever known a person to have and consequently, she is a passionate person. She is a I-Will-Get-My-Daughter-Into-A-Grammar-School-Even-If-It-Kills-Me kind of person. I know she loves me but she also loves and cares about my health, education, pillow quality, lack of a sturdy winter boot etc. She works hard and plays hard. She is VERY INTELLIGENT. I don't just mean she's read Auden's collective works (she has) type of intelligent but she has an emotional intelligence not many others possess. She is detached maternal. (I hereby coin the term "detached maternal"). What I mean by that is she leads me to believe that she does not wish to interfere with my life, a Laissez-Faire approach if you will, but surreptitiously buys me my favourite type of biscuit and hugs and kisses me on a regular basis. SLY. I believe this is an excellent style of parenting. I THINK that I have freedom BUT SECRETLY I DON'T! Genius! My mum has got it nailed. Mum, I will always be your Moose. ((At a young age I went through a stage where I was obsessed with mooses.))

Now on to my father. Dad. "El Padre" as I affectionately call him. My dad is great. There is no-one in this world wittier than my dad. No-one in this world with a wider repartee than my dad. No-one in this world with such quiet genius as. my. dad. To say my dad is funny would be a huge, unforgivable, understatement. His comedic ability is so vast and varied I would happily say he is my comedy hero. The other day I was thinking outloud and happened to say: "Hmmm you know The Edge from U2? I wonder if he has a first name?" and without a moments pause my dad, without even looking up from his dinner, said "Yeah, it's Cliff". If you don't find that hysterically funny then there is something fatally wrong with you. Or maybe you just had to be there... We laugh about everything together, we have the same music taste, we like the same films....You would be able to tell we were related instantaneously and that makes me feel really proud because if I'm half as funny as my dad when I'm his age I'll have a sitcom on BBC2 at 9pm on a Saturday night and it will be well into its 8th series. Dad, I will always be your Foss. ((He nicknamed me after a vicious mammal that lives in Madagascar- see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fossa_(animal).))

Personality-wise I'm a true 50/50 mix of my parents. And, in my mind, that can only be a good thing. 

nERD

Summer Scrapbook 2013!

From June 25th to September 4th I recorded my summer in scraps of paper, little drawings and detailed notes. I have one A4 page spare in case something exciting and/or dramatic happens in the next two days *fingers crossed*. 


Looking back over my summer, I can safely say it has been a success. I have had a handful of new experiences that I am grateful for. These include:

• Trying an omelette- No. Not nice. Never again.
• Going on a holiday organised (partly) by me- A roaring success. I'm so good at pretending I know how to read a train timetable!
•  Eating (thus including swallowing and digesting) a mussel- Surprisingly delicious. Four point five stars. 

.... Ok so those examples don't add up to the cRaZiEsT summer ever but I still had a good time. My friends and I had many shindigs. We have re-adopted the word "shindig" and we use it in reference to our own private style of party. These parties consist of eating doritos, chatting, drinking Fanta, playing a game my tall* friend has coined "Celebrities" and/or playing Cluedo. These shindigs are great. I suppose we use the word "shindig" ironically really because originally they were parties that involved loud music, dancing and alcohol consumption- none of that happens at our parties. This summer I have been to two classic shindigs that fit my description above, a murder mystery shindig and a bonfire shindig. All these events were jolly and filled with laughter. We can all drink but we choose not to intoxicate ourselves with poisons. Instead we roll around the carpeted homes of our nearest and dearest in fits of giggles. Our sides split at that hilarious anecdote about the crazy scottish lady our short, curly-haired companion* tells. SHINDIGS ARE THE WAY FORWARD. 

I think YOU should throw a shindig soon. You might like it. 

nERD

p.s. the pictures are some pages from my scrapbook....

** Names have been withheld 

Peggy

Cast your mind back a couple of months and you will remember that I was desperately trying to revise for some exams I had. Well, on Thursday I got the results of those exams. 5A*s and 6As. Not too shabby.

But something much more exciting than exam results has happened since my last post. I got a kitten! My brother and I were really missing having a cat to come home to every evening. So one overcast day a few weeks ago we went out and rehomed a kitten from an RSPCA open day. Meet Peggy April.  

She is an absolutely gorgeous White Tortoise shell. She is 18 weeks old and has already experienced too much. At just two weeks old she had her entire front right leg dipped in acid. It burnt through to her bone and she was left that way for days, unattended. I cannot believe the cruelty she endured. The wonderful people at the RSPCA rescued her and nursed her back to full health. Apart from the scar down her leg and her missing claw, you would not know the trauma she experienced as she has such a beautiful temperament. 

She is playful and inquisitive and unfortunately, a big fan of curtains. Her ears and tail are still a bit big for her which makes for extra cuteness. I am so so happy that we have another cat to care for and play with. 

If you have any advice regarding kittens, it would be much appreciated!

nERD